


his  responsibility

by IntelligentDreams



Category: Original Work
Genre: Family Loss, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, I Made Myself Cry, RMS Titanic, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, WILLIAM PIRRIE DESERVED BETTER, Why Did I Write This?, fight me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 05:13:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29165505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IntelligentDreams/pseuds/IntelligentDreams
Summary: ... in which william pirrie learns of the titanic tragedy -- and with it, the cruel fate of his nephew, naval architect thomas andrews .
Relationships: William Pirrie & Thomas Andrews





	his  responsibility

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⠀⠀𝙸𝚃’𝚂 𝙸𝚁𝙾𝙽𝙸𝙲 , 𝙷𝙴 𝙼𝚄𝚂𝙴𝚂 . 𝚃𝙷𝙾𝙼𝙰𝚂 𝙰𝙽𝙳𝚁𝙴𝚆𝚂 𝙸𝚂 𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝚁𝙴𝚂𝙿𝙾𝙽𝚂𝙸𝙱𝙸𝙻𝙸𝚃𝚈 , and yet , he isn’t even able to protect his nephew when it mattered most — namely , when the boy’s life was in danger .

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⠀⠀of course , his nephew is no mere 𝒃𝒐𝒚 . thomas is a strong young man , more than capable of protecting both himself and those around him . to call him “ boy “ would be a dismissal of the maturity thomas had achieved over the years , the wisdom he accumulates as master of harland & wolff’s shipyard . lord william pirrie places every semblance of faith in thomas, and the world knows it . ℎ𝑒’𝑠𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑠𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 . the world would never forget that above all else , thomas andrews was first and foremost 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙖𝙢 𝙥𝙞𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙚’𝙨 𝙗𝙤𝙮 . his 𝙨𝙤𝙣 .

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⠀⠀why else would he have taken him on as his protégé all those years ago , if his trust was still a matter up for debate ? pirrie isn’t a stupid man , but still ... he can’t help but 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 . he can’t help but worry about thomas’ safety , and every so often , he finds himself uttering a soft prayer , begging the lord to bring his nephew back home in one piece .

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⠀⠀𝒘𝒉𝒚 ? why the sudden concern ? thomas has accompanied his ships on their maiden voyages before ; this is nothing new . the chairman frowns , his eyebrows furrowing as he ponders this question . he stands up and begins to pace around his office , gears in his mind turning at a breakneck pace while he strives to assuage his worry .

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⠀⠀unfortunately , as he soon learns , these emotions are 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒇𝒊𝒆𝒅 .

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⠀⠀a knock on the door pulls him from his reverie , and william lets out a quiet , soft sigh . his gut is screaming at him not to answer — every fiber of his being insisting that if he does , only pain and anguish and grief would await — but he knows he must . after all , it would be rude not to do so ; the very thought of committing such an egregious social atrocity is anathema to him . 

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⠀⠀it is with this thought in mind that william gathers his courage , knowing it is useless to fight against what must eventually come to pass . he takes a step towards the door , reaching out and grasping onto the doorknob . slowly but surely , deliberately yet calmly , he pushes it open . 

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⠀⠀a hint of surprise flickers across his face when he sees his wife standing in the doorway . it isn’t her presence itself that shocks him ; but rather , it is her 𝙙𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙧 , the manner in which she presents herself to her husband . margaret montgomery pirrie is , in this very moment , a 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙙𝙤𝙬 of her former self : gone is the merry soul he wed on that fateful day , absent is the constant twinkling of her mezmerizing hazel eyes . 

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⠀⠀𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑢𝑠𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑑 , pirrie realizes , a shiver traveling down his spine . 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙗𝙡𝙚 . 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑔𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑡 𝑖 𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑑 ... 𝑠ℎ𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑖𝑑 , 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑏𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑤 , 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑟𝑎𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 ... 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑟𝑎𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑎 𝑣𝑖𝑏𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑤𝑜𝑚𝑎𝑚 , 𝑎 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙢𝙥𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝙖𝙙𝙫𝙤𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚 .

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⠀⠀they stand there in silence for a few torturous , agonizing moments , neither party brave enough to spark the conversation regarding the tragedy that must be discussed .

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⠀⠀he is the one who approaches the subject first , corners of his lips tugging into a concerned frown as he lays a gentle hand on his wife’s shoulder . “ maggie , dear ... i ... “ pirrie trails off , raising an eyebrow when he notices the newspaper carefully concealed behind margaret’s back . “ what ... what happened ? you seem rather out of sorts on this fine afternoon ... it’s not like you . “

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⠀ without a single word uttered between them , margaret hands william pirrie the newspaper that changes his life .

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⠀ 𝚃𝙸𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙸𝙲’𝚂 𝙱𝚄𝙸𝙻𝙳𝙴𝚁 𝙾𝙽𝙴 𝙾𝙵 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙾𝙴𝚂 𝙳𝙴𝙰𝙳 ! the headline proudly proclaims , and by god , the sight of his nephew’s portrait on the front page pierces william’s heart like a 𝙠𝙣𝙞𝙛𝙚 . no ... 𝑛𝑜 ! it can’t be true . 𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 , 𝑙𝑜𝑟𝑑 , 𝑖’𝑚 𝑏𝑒𝑔𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑦𝑜𝑢 ... 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑏𝑒 𝑎 𝑙𝑖𝑒 ... 𝑚-𝑚𝑦 𝑏𝑜𝑦 ... 𝐻𝐸 𝐷𝑂𝐸𝑆𝑁’𝑇𝐷𝐸𝑆𝐸𝑅𝑉𝐸 𝑇𝐻𝐼𝑆 ! 𝐻𝐸’𝑆 𝑇𝑂𝑂 𝑌𝑂𝑈𝑁𝐺 𝑇𝑂 𝐷𝐼𝐸 , 𝐷𝐴𝑀𝑀𝐼𝑇 ! 

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⠀⠀thomas andrews had his whole life ahead of him , and in the blink of an eye , his dreams had been snatched from him by a brutal , unfeeling force . 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠𝑛’𝑡 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑖𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑠𝑢𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 ! his boy was supposed to go on to become the greatest naval architect in history , the man that revolutionized harland & wolff ... good god , ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑠𝑢𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑎𝑚 𝑝𝑖𝑟𝑟𝑖𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑏𝑒... 𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑙𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑢𝑛𝑐𝑙𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑐ℎ ... 𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙨𝙤 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙥𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙖𝙡 ! 

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⠀⠀𝑔𝑜𝑑 , 𝑡𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑖𝑒 ... 𝑖’𝑚 𝑠𝑜 𝑠𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑦 ... 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑦 𝑓𝑎𝑢𝑙𝑡 ...

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⠀⠀” n-no .... “ the plea escapes pirrie’s lips before he can stop it , but even as he utters these words , deep down he knows them to be futile . “ m-maggie , 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 ... please tell me ... tell me that this is some sort of sick , convoluted joke ! it ... it can’t be true ... 𝙞𝙩 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙘𝙖𝙣’𝙩 . “

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⠀ pirrie is trembling , entire body shaking violently like a leaf blown about by the autumn breeze as he struggles to process this news . thomas andrews couldn’t be dead ... he 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙𝙣’𝙩 . his nephew , his 𝙨𝙤𝙣 , the light of his life , gone ? unthinkable . blasphemous . 𝙞𝙣𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙘𝙚𝙞𝙫𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 . a tear rolls down his cheek , and even in this befuddled state of mind , he notes margaret reaching up to gently wipe it away . 𝑏𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙 .

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⠀⠀“ 𝑖 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑎𝑖𝑙 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒 ; 𝑖 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 ... 𝑖 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑛’𝑡 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑔𝑡ℎ . “ 𝙛𝙪𝙘𝙠 . he recalls the conversation as though it were yesterday — the conversation where he , 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙖𝙢 𝙥𝙞𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙚 , had condemned his OWN NEPHEW to this tragic fate . pirrie’s words haunt him like a spirit from beyond the grave , taunting and mocking him to his breaking point . whittling away at his defenses , until the confidence for which he is so well known vanishes into nothingness , is rendered into nothing but a distant whisper of a long-forgotten past . 

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⠀⠀” ... 𝙝𝙤𝙬 ? “ william chokes out , finally gathering the courage to speak . “ how did t-tommie ... how did my boy ... “ 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙜𝙤𝙙 . he is too cowardly to finish his own sentence , for he fears the answer with which his companion might reply . shame washes over him , even as he gazes imploringly at margaret , pure 𝙮𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 written over all features of his tired , battle-weary face . this is not the yearning experienced by souls in love , but rather , by an elderly man in desperate need of 𝙖𝙣𝙨𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙨 . answers he knows his beloved wife has .

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⠀⠀it takes margaret a few moments to respond to her husband , for she too is fighting to regain control over her own set of turbulent emotions . when she does , her voice is quiet , each syllable spoken in an elongated , drawn manner , as though to do so otherwise would see her 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 .

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⠀⠀“ no one knows . “ she whispers , her words barely audible . “ some ... some accounts say he was in the smoking room when it happened , gazing up at a painting ... others ... others say he accidentally ensnared himself on a davit line while helping captain smith’s officers , and w-was ... was ... dragged down when they cut the lifeboat loose .... “

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⠀⠀pirrie’s heart twists in anguish at his wife’s answer , his guilt and self-hatred only growing more and more with each passing second . he can see it in his mind’s eye : 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦 𝘢 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘢𝘱𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘨𝘦 𝘤𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘴 ... 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘮𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦 ... 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘴 ... 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘴 ... 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘴𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘚𝘊𝘙𝘌𝘈𝘔𝘚 — and dear god , how it 𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙛𝙞𝙚𝙨 him ! 

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⠀⠀the elderly chairman lets out a sob , shutting his eyes tightly as he roughly shoves his wife away . “ 𝙒𝙄𝙇𝙇𝙄𝘼𝙈 ! “ margaret yelps in surprise , stumbling over and nearly falling to the floor . “ william , what the hell— “

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⠀⠀” my fault ... 𝙢𝙮 𝙛𝙖𝙪𝙡𝙩 ... “

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⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

⠀⠀at last , he knows the truth . he , william pirrie, was a murderer . a MURDERER ! HE HAD MURDERED HIS THOMAS , HIS BELOVED CHILD , IN COLD BLOOD ! 

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⠀⠀𝑡-𝑡𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑖𝑒 ... 𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 .... 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑒 .... 

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⠀⠀” i’m so sorry , maggie ... you married a 𝙢𝙪𝙧𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙧 . tommie died because of me .... i as good as dealt the killing blow myself , by giving him my ticket ... telling him to sail in my place ... “

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⠀⠀without waiting for her response , william leaves the room . ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑𝑠 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑠ℎ 𝑎𝑖𝑟 , 𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 .

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⠀⠀𝙸𝚃’𝚂 𝙸𝚁𝙾𝙽𝙸𝙲 , 𝙷𝙴 𝙼𝚄𝚂𝙴𝚂 . 𝚃𝙷𝙾𝙼𝙰𝚂 𝙰𝙽𝙳𝚁𝙴𝚆𝚂 𝚆𝙰𝚂 𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝚁𝙴𝚂𝙿𝙾𝙽𝚂𝙸𝙱𝙸𝙻𝙸𝚃𝚈 , his to cherish and care for , and yet ... he had killed him .

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⠀⠀he only hopes to one day acquire the chance to beg the man for forgiveness .

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End file.
